10 Signs Your Husband Is Cheating

Clearly, I missed the top 10 signs that my husband was cheating on me.

10. When your best friend tells you over and over and over again that she suspects your husband is cheating.

9. When your husband complains that he is too tired to have sex.

8. When your husband calls you up at 2 AM telling you he is too drunk to drive home and doesn't want to spend $100 on a cab. So instead, he goes and spends $800 on a swanky Beverly Hills hotel. (Keep in mind ... he has never taken me there.)

7. When you just gave birth to your first child via C-section and your husband tells you he "has to work." (Even the nurse picked up on this one. In my defense, I was postpartum.)

6. When your husband goes out of town for work and tells you that if you call his hotel room and "enter name of girl here" answers, it's because he switched rooms with her since hers was better.

5. When your husband tells you he wants to do his own laundry. (I thought he was just being nice because I was so busy with the house and kids. My lawyer explained otherwise.)

4. You buy a new dinette set and your husband suddenly tells you the smell of the wood will give him an asthma attack. Instead of returning it, he gifts it to a "friend" who just happens to be a girl.

3. When your husband comes home at 3:30 AM and tells you he was working hard writing at the university library. Only problem is ... it closed at 5 PM.

2. When you question your husband about the STD test you discovered he took -- and he tells you it's because he was worried that he contracted something from a public bathroom.

1. When your husband posts on his Facebook page that he is engaged to some chick named Stacey